The Most Professional Podcast | The September Checkpoint

This was recorded at a completely reasonable hour and we were very prepared and also we never lie.

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SOFABITS’ SUPER ULTIMATE AND INFINITELY ACCURATE RATING SYSTEM:

1 STAR:
This game is VILE. It is offensive in its lack of quality, character or gusto. It is not only a horrible game, but it has made it PERSONAL. We would only buy this game just to break the disc out of spite. We cannot even begin to unpack this pile of manure masquerading as a form of entertainment.

2 STAR:
This game is BAAAAAD. Whether it is was the insurmountable amount of bugs, the game-play that makes you want to grind your teeth down to your gums, or the writing that has been seemingly done by your arch rival in third grade who was an idiot but also knew how to press all of your buttons, this game has been a complete and utter disaster.

3 STAR:
This game is not bad. This game is not good. This game is a perfectly functioning activity that requires inputs from a human to complete an overall objective. This game looks entirely adequate, it sounds like a series of intentional noises and leaves the player knowing that they have indeed played a video game.

4 STAR:
This game is FANTASTIC. Maybe it was the game-play that sent your thumbs to Nirvana, maybe it was the looks and sounds that transported you to a dazzling new world to explore, maybe it was a story that had you on the edge of your seat- or perhaps it was all of the above. This game was a blast from start to finish, but in the end you can’t help but feel that it was ALMOST a masterpiece.

5 STAR:
First off, let’s make one thing very clear. This game is not perfect. BUT. This game is special. This is a game that will stick with you long after it’s run time. Recounting every detail and aspect of the experience makes your heart start to pound. Your love for this game makes describing it almost impossible. You just know that everyone needs to play it. It is a beacon to which all other games strive to be. A true great.

SOFA 6 S+
THIS GAME IS PERFECT AND ANY ATTEMPTS TO TARNISH ITS HOLY NAME SHALL BE MET WITH THE FIERY HAND OF JUSTICE…AND FURY.

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