I'd like to APOLOGIZE to SouthernASMR_sounds (update in description)

Im taking a week to reflect on this.

#southernasmr #southernsoundsasmr

UPDATE AS OF 6/7/2020:
Hey family, I wanted to pop in here to say a few things and to remind people of a few things. I will start positive first and end with the negativity that I am addressing at this time. Friday morning, 6/5, Mary and I spoke to one another privately. She said in her most recent update video, that I had permission to share the conversation. I will not be doing this, but rather of giving an outlook on the situation and what has occurred since it began.

Although us speaking to one another doesn't fix things on either ends, it does give me clarity that I now understand where she was coming from and feeling. Our conversation started off with frustration and anger on both parts, but ended with a bit of understanding and I am grateful for that. I did NOT expect this apology video to go trending, at first I couldn't understand why SO many people.. thousands.. were coming here to comment certain narratives that had nothing to do with the situation at hand. It all happened so fast, in the beginning, that for the first time in six years of this channel, I had to turn off the comments. Because of the words being said, some wishing me, BEGGING me to commit su!c!de, claiming they were going to have my kids removed, telling me to watch my back every moment of everyday until I quit, and so much more, much worse that I won't be posting here.. it was quite a lot at once. I had to remove myself from my husband and kids and get help immediately. I had to turn off comments for my safety and sanity. That did not stop people from going to my other social media, and the next morning when I planned on coming home, I hopped on Twitter to find Mary had created one. Her DMs were turned off, probably because of the new account, but I retweeted one of her tweets and she saw it, Dmd me, and we spoke. I stand by my apology to Mary and Mary only. Out of the 6,000 people I lost on our channel, what I have asked of the FAMILY members that left.. I ask if they ever wanted to come back, to check back up in six to twelve months to see if I have changed. If so, they can can choose at that time whether or not they would like to return.

With that being said, here is my update, thank you, and statement regarding this for now.
First off, to every ASMR creator who reached out to me.. making sure I was ok.. I can't even begin to thank you. People found my phone number from years ago. It would probably take days, if not weeks.. to go through the amount of love, suggestion, constructive criticism, help, and more that I have recieved. Even the family members who have left this channel, some have left very helpful future comments for me to reflect on, and learn from. The rest of this week I said Id be reflecting. I will continue to do so. I am back home with my family, I am filming videos for the future, and I am moving on since talking to Mary. After getting myself together to watch from the outside what was going on, one that Mary nor I could control.. I wanted to say this.

Those of you who have begged me to end my life, to quit my channel, to have my kids removed.. I will do none of it and I will have none of it. As I said in my apology video - I am not a bad person. I have made mistakes and all I can do is learn from them. I can educate, involve myself, and do better. This channel is a safe space and I will be DAMNED if ANYONE comes over here making it a war zone. I did not think of that when I called out Mary. I stand by my initial reasoning to do so, but the words I used toward her and her alone I do NOT stand by. I, again, am sorry to Mary and what she went through that 24 hours.

Those of you who said what you said to ME, trying to "make me pay", and "knock me down a peg or two", never going to happen. Ive worked too hard for six years to change my life and work on myself, work that will never be done and will come with mistakes and consequence at times, I will never end that. This channel will always remain a safe space and in time I will turn back on the comments and we can continue to use this as a place for EVERYONE, and we will move on from this. You will NEVER run me off the internet. You will never be a reason of why I suffer in life. This is what I love, what I do, what I will always do until YouTube itself shuts down. I will never leave.

With that being said, everyone who's asked and has been messaging, tweeting, calling, texting, blowing me up and caring, I am alright, and I am so grateful for you. I am so grateful for my YouTube family, even those who chose to have left because they were disappointed. You were not a troll but one who was concerned, hurt, and I wish you well whether you choose to return or not. I am currently home safe with my family, yesterday our town came together for the very first time to protest for the black lives matter movement, and it was beautiful. Things are changing, I am changing. I will be back soon./end

im sorry,southernsounds,asmr,